I went to Matt Damon’s graduation dinner last night for his MBA. Quick recap: Matt Damon is one of those great guys I previously mentioned that I never allowed things to progress with. Yes, as currently discussed with Cindy and Cremello, risk of hurting him was too great. Traveling to Puerto Rico allowed me to avoid dealing with this situation. I suppose I believe it would dissipate; instead this is what has transpired:
Last time I was in New York, I truly enjoyed seeing him, which consists primarily of daytimes as we work from the same coffee shop in New York. I do love talking to him, and a dialog of whether I should give it a shot continues looping through my mind. However, in my gut, its not there . . . a lack of that sexual attraction, perhaps or my inability to see myself with him . . .
Regardless, during the last trip to the Island, I sent him an email containing some work-related mishaps we share during our days at the coffee shop and ended it with “I am thinking of you.” He responded “I wish I was there too – I can’t imagine anything more perfect than holding you on the beach right now. I’ll get down there soon enough” to which I responded, “I am imaging you here. I am so different here. I have been here all but three hours and I wish you knew the me that is here. I can’t wait for you to come. . . I don’t know why, but I am feeling inexplicably close to you these days . . “
Ok, I am an ASS.
In that moment, I did feel that. I promise. I could only think of all the conversations I love, the moments shared and didn’t think about how I was taking his heart into my possession. I am that horrible misleading girl. But I meant it
To which he respomded:
“So tell me about how Island Attainingme differs from New York Attainingme.
Does her lower lip still curl up when she pouts? Does she still look amazing when she’s dressed for a meeting? Does she still laugh at all her emails? Does she still tell ridiculously involved stories that make me smile in disbelief? Does she still look around aimlessly as she’s typing? Does she still sound impressive when she’s negotiating on the phone? Does she still look back at me sheepishly with her beautiful eyes after I kiss her? “ Continue reading