I am searching for that of which transcends location. A life in between the two I lead. Love, sex, friendship, success, intimacy . . . As such, this is my journey to continuity.
Grew up in Northern California. Standard overachiever. Parents not parental. Incredibly independent. Attended USC. Worked full-time. Future CEO. Escaped LA when I received an offer to model in NY. Decided on a whim and left two days later to a place where I knew no one. Was supposed to return at the end of summer, never did. New York was wonderful, vibrant, but always lonely. My life had done a complete 180. My identity gone.
I went from riding subways at 4am in attempts to save $10, photoshoots, not eating and then a year later, falling into a new career. Negotiating, investments, buildings, two assistants, no more roommates, a driver and the life of subways, gone. However, this life was far from perfect. Controlled and verbally abused by my business partners. Dependent. Although, my life projected the opposite.
And then, everything hit rock bottom. Stuck.
Somehow reinvented. Moved on. Transitioned. New boss. Busy, proud.
12 months later. REPEAT.
Transitioned yet again. Accepted a job in the Caribbean. Two homes. Two identities. One routine, one lack thereof. One balanced, the other frenetic.
A new language. A new life.
Transition. Adapt. Dream.
So now, I am searching, attaining, me.
Update: This blog, I started a year and a half ago. The above bio written then as well. I now write from New York. Currently in transition to living here once again. I hold on to Puerto Rico, but the reigns are untethered.
It’s a transition I partially desire. One that supplies passion. For once, dreams and goals exist on the horizon. I create projects that inspire. Names you all know.
But, I don’t love New York as others may. It offers me attraction, momentum, and fairy-tales. I penetrate the worlds of the influential. But, when the work ends, the friends not found, and it’s me and the city lights, I feel utterly alone. This loneliness breathes as well in Puerto Rico, but the days there offer me reprieve. The sun, the sand, my horse and the mountains. They are the threads that hold me together, the fibers of Attainingme. New York threatens their composure.
We now enter Dec 2009. Join me as my path further unravels. As I build a company, a trajectory to Fortune’s ’40 under 40′, explore the divides of rejecting and being rejected. The emotions within without filter. My imperfections, my struggles, my being.
If nothing else though. I am magnetic in my paths. I have a sense of purpose, a whole lot of suitors and a heart that may learn how to finally open.