The sand sifts under my feet. A wind blows. A decision needs to be made. I am still at my company, barely making anything. 1/5 of what I was before. However, I would rather be working for free. Respected and appreciated for my sweat equity. My stipend affords me nothing, yet it serves to make my boss feel as if my work is paid for. I made more when I was 18.
At this moment, I am not living paycheck to paycheck. If I were, I would be tied to the paltry stipend, it would be my calories. In one month, that is where I will be. And I will be stuck, working and living day-to-day, unable to change directions and afford me any days to breathe.
Today, I have the power. I can walk away and not work for a few weeks. Line up my next venture. However, I am entangled in every negotiation and relationship, the reason I was not fired. I am the one that holds the weight. No one checks in, motivates me, or gives me guidance. I simply hold the key. I look at it and wonder why should I turn it.
I flirt with walking in and saying I am leaving. I don’t believe he could let me go. I don’t necessarily want to go. But I refuse to be here a month from now, strapped and dependent. I am not quite sure what to do . . .