The artist picked me up from the airport last night. I entered his car on a business call. It was 10pm. I said aloud to my client that I would email it shortly as I was almost home. I believe the artist had other ideas, dinner or drinks. He drove away his eyes avoiding mine. Today he writes on Facebook, “The magic is gone.”
I was up until 2am preparing an LOI for the aforementioned call. Having not had dinner, I needed sustenance. At 1am, I ventured downstairs for a Subway wrap and a coffee– ever grateful that they never close. As I descended my stairs, I found myself approaching a nature’s symphony. The water danced madly, howling and screaming on the dead Avenue. It was as if time had stopped. The Avenue without passing lights. The gutters overflowed and buckets of water clamored on the tiles before me. I stood still- trapped behind my porton. A homeless man slept huddled in the corner, and ever so politely remained outside my enclosed foyer, even though it was open and always is, even though it would have offered protection. A makeshift sleeping bag, a makeshift roof– cardboard. I am still in awe at how even in such desperation, he refused to encroach. I stood and waited. Watched the orchestration. Amazed at its vigor.
I haven’t seen such rains in forever. This morning confronted me with 2 inches of water collected in my sala. I arrived to work sometime shortly before 11am. Much later than normal. And my day is overwhelming, much like last night’s weather. “The magic is gone.” Simultaneously, I receive this from an ex who moved to Costa Rica after I moved to PR:
I am sorry I haven’t written you back – honestly, i try to get you out of my head more than in. You, us and all that was is strangely persistent in my thoughts.
I am in a relationship now – which is well…fucking odd, considering that Ellie is living with me and so many things are tied to this new life. Even more odd is its the first relationship I have had since we were together – we did quite a number on me.
That said – this is not the reason I haven’t written – not girl jealousy or anything like that and I have been fully honest with her about who you are to me and what we were (at least my perspective). The thing is my mind wanders to “Attainingme” much too often for my own sanity and as always I still hear songs that i’d rather remember in your humm.
So you see i haven’t changed. As much as I wish I had. I am the same as the last time I saw you. And that is the problem.
And I just discovered the facts of this weekend’s plane crash- 6 died. I know. I feel hollow. The link to Venezuela. I don’t want to work.