A quick update on the men:
So, as you know MattDamon let an imaginary relationship grow in his mind. This became apparent by his friends’ and colleagues’ comments at his gradation dinner. Recall, “So, this is the meeting of the parents! “
After this event and my avoiding his attempts to peck me on the lips as if we did it for everyday for the last ten years, MattDamon avoided the coffee shop where we spend our days working on laptops.
Another fellow coffee-shopper, the Journalist, also works from there. The Journalist is also an acquaintance of MattDamon, albeit a new one. He too was at the graduation dinner. As we were chatting that evening, which we had done many times before, I sensed a spark of interest (he unaware of my assumed romantic status with MattDamon.) Jounalist had always disregarded me previously (so much so that he didn’t even recognize me when I had walked into the coffee shop from my two weeks in PR, so I was rather surprised to find a spark in his eye.)
I gave the Journalist my card as I fled that awkward evening. The next morning:
On 10/17/08 7:51 AM, the Journalist wrote:
Just adding you to my contacts before I forget. Here’s my info, case you need some editing help.
Good to see you last night.
On Oct 17, 2008, at 9:28 AM, Attainingme wrote:
Lol. Thanks. Way to make me feel brilliant first thing in the morning.
On Oct 17, 2008, at 10:49 AM, Journalist wrote:
Just kidding. Drop a line if you are out in hood later.
Btw still embarrassed about not recognizing you yesterday 😉
The night of the credit card incident, Journalist texted me. Feeling as if I lost my mind, I welcomed the opportunity to have a drink. Without money, I told him he had to purchase it. He obliged. We met at a small bar. Sat. Talked. Connected . . .
This was the start to our companionship that flourished until my leaving for PR last week–the companionship that has me feeling empty. I really miss him. We talk daily. We kissed while I was there. Nothing more. I spent the night and he did as well. He ventured with me on errands and to ride horses, hours working at cafes, a few dinners, and a couple parties. I enjoy him, but don’t foresee him as a boyfriend. The only potential boyfriend may be Dario, who will be dissected separately.
So, here is the dilemma:
As I mentioned MattDamon and Journalist are acquaintances, a growing friendship, a mutual respect. So, the Saturday before my departure to PR, after the companionship with the Journalist and I was budding, all three of us somehow ended up at the same bar. MattDamon was clueless that the Journalist and I had planned to meet each other. MattDamon left to go to another obligation. I was leaving soon as well. Ten minutes later, Journalist walked me out. MattDamon stood outside waiting—he waited ten mintues!!
MattDamon asked to walk me home. We spoke. He hated me. The last text from him being, “I am thinking our little romance has run its course.” So, as I was scolded on how rude I was for not calling him when he casually mentioned drinks after the graduation debacle, I noted how silly this whole thing was, how we never dated. He agreed, but noted a moment, our moment (ok, the one time we kissed and slightly hooked up back in July) and how very special it was. At this point, I was past liking MattDamon even as a friend, his envy and cynicism were not things I applaud. However, he then said, “You know, you left me thinking. What you said about goals and how short-sighted I was . . you were right. I am not a small thinker. I wouldn’t be here in New York if I didn’t set goals.” This is referring to his goal “to not be bankrupt in the next two years.” Ok, Mr. Ivy-league grad. . . . So, he thanked me. That is why he liked me. I challenge him. Perhaps, I simply can’t afford to think differently, either way, he slowly returned to my good graces. I said I wasn’t interested in pursuing anything. He chose not to listen. He left trying to kiss me.
I called the Journalist immediately after. Explained the situation. He spent the night. In the morning, I left for PR. And now, two men are probably sitting two feet from each other at this moment who feel that they have something with me. Two men, who I like as companions. And while, I do miss the Journalist, I feel that perhaps, I need to say something. I need to say I like this handsome Slav. Or while I adore you, you aren’t going to make it as the boyfriend. And perhaps, I should tell MattDamon about what happened with the journalist before the Journalist tells him.
Ok. What do I do? Help.