Text from Caballito: “I guess you don’t want to see me anymore, right? I will stop insisting eventually don’t worry . . . “ My companion. The smiles, the ease, the comfort and the dances– the memories remain. The words on this blog cement them. The emotions I survived, the attachment to a connection that… [Read more…]
February 13, 2009
Can the world execute a well-crafted plan? A series of events. Is there a camera rolling? This isn’t happening. I am not this girl. . . I see the mirrors. I am secure in my self, but my ego is in check and this insanity, is not . . . I am already missing U.… [Read more…]
February 5, 2009
It is possible to like a few. But, is it pointless? Am I just toying with hearts? I don’t let go, because “maybe’s” exist. The coins laid out before me. I pick them up. I close my fingers around them. Unclench, and pass them through my fingers. I think. I stare at my last name.… [Read more…]
January 22, 2009
I write this as I listen to Fonseca’s “El Arroyito.” I recall his smile and that moment. I am in the restaurant below my apartment and my phone rings—it is Caballito. The background noise drowns the words, the words I have painfully anticipated. I bolt for the door—that is bolted. I am trapped. My breathing… [Read more…]
January 20, 2009
The evening. It was Saturday. I am the most beautiful girl in the room. The most beautiful in all of Puerto RIco. I am told every time I frequent here. It is not the truth, but nevertheless, the mouths that say it, genuine. The pool reflects purple and green. The night is perfect. The lights… [Read more…]
January 19, 2009
The moments in which I am frustrated exceed those that I am not. Was it not but a week ago where we reconciled? Where my body had one of those nights she will never forget? Last night you danced with me to Fonseca. Moments before, Jorge spun me around effortlessly; my legs and hips performing… [Read more…]
January 11, 2009
I ended it Friday night. Everything I had was what I wanted, but for some reason my emotions were not in accord. Much like my growing departure from New York, sometimes what your mind tells you is irrelevant. My mind tells me New York is more my home than Puerto Rico. It tells me to… [Read more…]
January 9, 2009
I pull closer. I cannot get close enough. My body is yearning for yours. I can feel you inside me. A wave of calm mixed with a resurgence of sexual energy, My mind and my movements take on a prowess. I feel seductive, sexy and . . . free. My sensuality had been on an… [Read more…]
January 8, 2009
He is back. A day early, without a phonecall. Caballito (Mr. Unavailble) texted me the news. He said he would explain later. I await “later.” I cannot lie. I am trying to ignore the emotions. History tells me that “later” will calm them, that there will be an explanation that satisfactorily contests my sentiments that… [Read more…]
December 18, 2008
I search for rewind, erase, ctrl + D. A conversation precipitated on seeing each other. Details. You questioned why I had been so “pissy” today and yesterday . . and an hour of pointless dialogue unfolded on the telephone. I driving in circles. Us never seeing each other. The conversation- Why so many questions? Why… [Read more…]
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May 20, 2009
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